Vagabonds. The dislocated. Homeless. The invisible. The forgotten. The aforementioned states are well known for those that have experienced extreme trauma: psychological, physical and/or sexual. All the above. Emptiness pervades the survivor's life; their aura exuding an air of intensity an ever lingering ferociousness that vacillates like the tides. Our personalities highjacked by a condition not of our choosing. We are deemed intimidating, intense, deep and ultimately the one to avoid. However, what happens when two souls afflicted by (C)PTSD encounter one another? In my experience, those who have suffered immensely naturally gravitate towards one another. The old adage "misery loves company" fails to completely describe this phenomenon. Put a bunch of people in a room and close the door. Witness who interacts, who the extroverts and introverts are. Expectantly people will group themselves based upon identity markers of race, ethnicity, sexuality. gender, and/or class. However, what's left? Misfits. Those who don't fit. Those that see through the bullshit. Those that have a fire burning within that is unsatisfied with the day to day humdrum monotony of normalcy and expectation. Those who have survived. Those that feel. Those that see. For many survivors this has led to a life of an empath, organizers, social workers, teachers, service men and women - all seeking to reconcile that fire burning from within through action. Many survivors have been failed by systems, family units and loved ones. Thus for those living with (C)PTSD actions speak volumes and stasis equals death. As such many survivors are doers, alpha personalities. The empathic alpha overlooking its pack. And how does one create a pack? By expanding one's circle to include those survivors who have been shunned by others. Two survivors getting to know one another is akin to two dogs sniffing butts. The trauma hounds share stories seeking acceptance and understanding. Once that threshold is achieved, the bond is cemented and the search for more members to include in the pack begins. One challenge within this process is negotiating familiarity. Often one's wounds are so similar to another that it excites. How can another experience so much that is familiar to one's own? This ultimately leads to desire. To be. To be with. To be accepted. To be heard. To heal. Together. This is the nature of the pack. Moving together removed from the trauma of the past and questionable futures into the now. The present. To share, reveal and revel at our life experiences and the gifts that are all around us to which we were temporarily blinded. Within the overlapping broken pieces resides alchemy. Magic. The dislocated find home in one another. This is the core of the pack.
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AuthorDarren Brown, PhD. ArchivesCategories |